Hey everyone! I recently had a birthday and it felt fitting to write up a post about how I feel about no longer being in my 20s and the various thoughts I’ve had floating about as my birthday loomed closer. It’s not the most significant change in my life, but it’s still a milestone in my book—I’ve been around for three decades! I thought being in my 20s was a big deal. It feels more real these days, when I think about being in my 30s now. A lot has happened in my 30 years of being on this earth; a few serious relationships, a marriage and a divorce, college, various jobs, growing into the person I am today, and so much more.
The older I get, the chiller my birthdays get. Technically, my birthdays have always been pretty chill—turning 18 was like any other day. It didn’t magically make me feel more “adult” and I can’t remember what I did. Or like when I turned 21, I didn’t go out and get crunk like most people my age at the time did. I also can’t even remember what I did for my 21st, that’s how low-key it was. Same when I turned 25—though I do remember it being a chill day full of food and exploring Seattle. It wasn’t a huge deal and typically I like my birthdays like that. Those that are special to me always make my day a little extra special and I get fun gifts, but mostly if someone takes me out to a nice dinner and spends some time with me, that’s all I could really ask for. Like this year, it was about experience instead of any material or physical gifts. The boyfriend was a doll and spoiled me with a literal pile of gifts (you might have seen it on my Insta Stories) and also got me a roundtrip to Oregon to visit my childhood BFF. I couldn’t be happier about this gift. Not only do I get to see my BFF, but it would be one of the birthdays we could celebrate together in over 10 years probably.
I’m finding that not just in my 30s but as I get older in general, the things I want out of life become more apparent and clear. The same goes for realizing more about myself as a person and an individual. It’s only now, that I can honestly say that I know myself better than anyone else. I’ve said this before at different ages and frankly, I only had ideas of who I was and maybe who I wanted to be. Now that it’s clear who I am and I’ve accepted myself as I am, I’m a much happier person for it. At this age, I don’t find myself trying to “reinvent” myself or like in the past try to emulate others instead of just being myself. I always felt like I had to be a little like someone else. I’m not saying it’s not okay to look up to others or admire other people, but for me it was a problem when I tried too hard to be like someone I admired, instead of being myself and appreciating that other person for who they were. In my opinion, I feel like this is what it means to become an “adult” or a “real grown up”—at 30 years old, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I don’t have the urge or need to be like someone else or change myself to please others. It’s truly a wonderful feeling to be truly okay with yourself. That’s not to say I’m so happy with myself that I stop improving or growing as a person. It just means that I’m content in the adult I’ve developed into, and now my mission is to continue being the best me I can be.
I’m trying my best to not let this post get all over the place so I’ll keep it short and close with a list of things I feel a certain way about:
- Getting older isn’t as scary as I thought. I’ve been told your 30s are actually the best and even better than your 20s. (My 20s were a little tumultuous lol).
- My friends have weeded themselves out for me. The older you get, the less friends you have in my opinion. Thus, only the ones that matter stick around. That’s fine by me. Quality over quantity. On the friend note: some people are meant to cross paths with you and go on their way. I believe that certain people stop by to teach you something and then leave you. This wasn’t something immediately clear to me when I was younger and now I appreciate it—it just means there’s more of your time and energy to spend on befriending someone new. Some food for thought.
- The dynamics in a relationship are so different from my early 20s. The things that used to seem like a big deal then, are not a thing now. I also know what I want out of a relationship, what I expect of another person and myself, how to effectively communicate, and most importantly I think—what I don’t want in a relationship. It also helps when you’re happy with yourself. It makes your relationships so much healthier, both in romance and friendship.
- I feel like I appreciate family 10x more now that I’m older. Before during my teens and very early 20s it wasn’t a huge deal to me. But now that everyone’s getting older, it means more to me to spend time with them and cherish every single moment.
- Speaking of moments, live in them. I realize more every day that life is short and I’ve made it a point to be with those I love as much as possible and let them know how much they mean to me as often as possible.
- This one is obvious: your perspective changes. It’s a sign that you’re growing and don’t let anyone make you feel like you “changing” is a bad thing. We’re all here to evolve and if other’s aren’t changing, then that’s their problem. Stay stagnant over there, see if we care. #BAIFELICIA
- The things I stressed about in my 20s are not even a concern past 25 anymore. It’s amazing what perspective does to your stress levels.
- Finding my passion—ya’ll. I’m still working on this. 😂 My problem is, I’m passionate about a lot of things, but finding that ONE passion is a real struggle. (Let me know in the comments what you’re passionate about. How did you know? What drove you to that passion?)
- The number one “thought” I’ve had as of late is the idea of always learning. I don’t ever want to stop learning more—more about myself, the world, about others, skills, basically everything. I find that learning keeps me fulfilled and happy.
I hope you’ve enjoyed my little thinking out loud sesh. To my fellow Pisces or February babies, I hope you had a beautiful birthday filled with joy and loved ones. Share with me in the comments, what kinds of birthdays do you enjoy? What are your thought on getting older? Any pearls of wisdom? Share below! As always, thanks for reading and until next time!